Post by Helen on Jun 11, 2006 13:29:05 GMT
day and night magazine
HOW I LOST MY WAY
For years he carefully nurtured a ‘nice boy’ myth – until now. In his frankest ever interview, Ronan Keating comes clean to Rebecca Hardy about taking drugs, lying about his sex life, evicting his father… and what finally got him back on course
OK, let’s clear a few things up. Ronan Keating wasn’t a virgin when he married. He has one-night stands. And, yes, he’s even experimented with drugs. Keating, a committed Catholic and former Boyzone singer, has laboured under the tag ‘nicest man in pop’ for more than a decade now. When he was 16 years old a reporter asked him if he was a virgin. He should have told the reporter to mind his own business – instead he said, ‘Yes’. The newspapers had his number, or thought they did: Ronan Keating, the nice, polite, Catholic virgin from Dublin. And so he remained until he married his wife Yvonne eight years ago. Keating, actually, is very nice. He’s polite, too. But the rest is, well… to quote Keating, ‘Bull****’.
‘I made a massive mistake – by saying I was a virgin at 16,’ says Keating. ‘Well, I was – and I hope all kids are at 16. But when I was on the road there were lots of girls around and I lost my virginity early on. ‘I didn’t want to say I had because I didn’t want them [the newspapers] to say, “Oh, Ronan’s finally lost his virginity. Let’s find the girl.” So I kept the story going. Then there was all this stuff about me waiting until I’m married. That was bull****.’
Before Keating decided to pursue a solo career in 1999, Boyzone had 16 top five UK singles and sold more than 15 million albums worldwide. Keating and his bandmates – Keith Duffy, Shane Lynch, Mikey Graham and Stephen Gately – were mega-big, mega-hot, mega-news. ‘We made it up as we went along,’ says Keating. ‘It was rock ’n’ roll. We weren’t throwing TVs out of windows but we’d be up all hours drinking every night. Next morning we’d get on the plane drunk.
‘It was full on. There were parties thrown for us after every gig, money thrown at us – all sorts. A lot of the time I was dating and there would be girls throwing themselves at me. I’d say, “No, no, no. I can’t.” And then there was the first time I had a onenight stand. I left my girlfriend the next day. I called her and said, “I can’t be with you any more.” I went through this brilliant stage of being with a different girl every other night. Then I met Yvonne and everything changed.’
Keating worships his wife. He says she’s his ‘rock’, that he’d be lost without her. From the day they got together he hasn’t been near another woman. Keating is 29 years old. He has three children – Jack, seven, Marie, five, and nine-monthold Ali. They have a home in the Dublin suburbs. He says he likes to walk the dog on the beach, go to the cinema, watch The West Wing with his wife and a bottle of red wine; ‘normal things’.
It seems to suit him. Keating is less buttoned up, more forthcoming these days. He remains wary, though, of confessing too much – particularly when I ask if drugs figured during his days with Boyzone. ‘I think people would be shocked if they heard Ronan Keating took drugs,’ he says. ‘I was a bit naïve towards them. I was afraid that I’d be the unlucky one. Between you and me, I’ve tried it [dope]. We went to Holland and, as everyone does, we tried it. I have to say it wasn’t for me. I didn’t enjoy it.’ After some deliberation, Keating allows this conversation to remain on the record, adding, ‘On my mother’s grave, I’ve never taken any hard drugs.’ I believe him. Keating adored his mother, Marie, and would never take her name in vain. When she died of cancer eight years ago, he fell to pieces. ‘I was drunk all day,’ he says. ‘I looked for answers and couldn’t find them. What I Ronan Keating with his wife, Yvonne realised was you don’t
ever get over it, you learn to deal with it. It’s still very hard.
Every time I hold my children I just wish mam was with me. I feel she’s around and looking after me – I speak to her every day – but I want her to be here. I don’t think it’s fair and I’m still angry about it.’
I meet Keating at The Belfry in Warwickshire where, after lunch, he’s playing golf with Freddie Flintoff. Keating is addicted to golf; gambling, too, but somehow he always manages to hold himself in check. He’s driven, competitive, but a softie at heart. His latest album is Bring You Home. He believes it’s the best record he’s ever made, saying he ‘tripped up’ on the last album, Turn It On, which only made number 21 in the UK charts. ‘I thought I could sing any song and people would believe in it – and they didn’t,’ he says. ‘Now I feel I’m back where I’m myself. This is an album of ballads, of love songs. It’s positive, optimistic. I don’t need to do or say things to place me in a position where I look a bit cooler. I wanted to be Jon Bon Jovi and Bono. But I’m not that cool. I don’t need to be. I’m not a rock star. I am who I am.’
In fact, Keating does look pretty cool in fashionably tattered jeans and a frayed shirt. He says he’s always liked clothes, and wonders if it’s something to do with dressing in hand-me- downs for much of his childhood. Keating was the youngest of five children born to truck driver Gerry and wife Marie. He was close to his mother, but had an awkward relationship with his father, a tough, hard- drinking man.
Following his mother’s death, father and son had a furious row. Keating, who’d bought the family home at 18, sold it from beneath his father’s feet. ‘I made mistakes I shouldn’t have made,’ says Keating. ‘Stuff happened that I don’t really want to go on about because it’s just between dad and me. As I’ve got older I understand a little more about life. But at the time I was angry. I said things I shouldn’t have said. ‘I messed up. Dad had nowhere to go, and the house was an anchor for all my brothers and sisters. And it was gone. It was a f***ing big mistake. My dad and I didn’t speak for two years.’
This is the first time Keating has spoken with such astonishing candour about his life. He was, he says, consumed by a passion for music from an early age. His siblings, Ciaran, Linda, Gerard and Gary, had emigrated to the US by the time he was 13. Music helped to fill the empty house.
‘I remember at Christmas there was only mam, dad and me sitting around the table and mam was bawling her eyes out,’ he says. ‘I just didn’t want to be there. It was so depressing and so hard for mam. I just ate my dinner as quick as I could and got out. Our house had always been full of energy. When everyone left it was incredibly quiet, incredibly lonely. I fell in love with all of the record collections they left behind: Cat Stevens, Squeeze, Queen, Elton John. I’d just go to my room and listen to records. I loved to sing, loved the movement, love the noise. It blew my mind.’ Keating was working in a shoe-shop when X Factor judge Louis Walsh held auditions in Dublin for a boy band. He ‘couldn’t believe it’ when he was picked. ‘Louis and I liked the same music and wanted the same thing out of Boyzone. I wanted to travel. I wanted hit records. I wanted success. I wanted respect – but not credibility – that’s one thing Boyzone never looked for.
‘The boys and I were all very close. There were never any bust-ups in Boyzone, never any fights. We understood we were thrown together and didn’t know each other. Being Irish we sat in the bar all night drinking and chatting, telling each other about our lives.‘We knew Stephen [Gately] was gay – his boyfriend was around for most of the time. But he was afraid that if it came out it would hurt the band. Then, after three years, a newspaper found out and he was put under pressure to come out. It was a hard time for Stephen. I remember him sitting down with his mum and dad to tell them. We were there with him. His parents were brilliant – everyone was. This was the first real big story of a member of a boy band coming out.
‘I was 19 and having a fantastic time. The records were selling; we were travelling the world. Then mam got diagnosed with cancer and everything changed.’
Keating was on his way to Dublin airport when his brother Ciaran phoned to say his mother had discovered a lump in her breast. ‘I just wanted to get on that plane and get as far away from Dublin as possible,’ he says. ‘I didn’t want to hear it. A week later it was confirmed the lump was malignant.‘I remember walking in the door and she was crying,’ says Keating. ‘I gave her a big hug. It was awful. And then she went through all the usual rubbish – got the breast removed, went through chemotherapy, lost her hair. It was very hard for me to see her sick. I’d never stay long in the hospital. As soon as I was in I was gone.’
Eighteen months later his mother was given the all-clear. ‘It was fantastic,’ he says. ‘Everyone was overjoyed. Relief is the wrong word. It was just a joyous feeling. That was in September but then she started having back pains. In late November we found out that the cancer had moved on to the spine. I prayed every day. I just trusted in Him that everything would be OK because mam was such a believer. ‘I remember in December we were all called into the hospital. The doctor said, “It doesn’t look good.” I just couldn’t figure this out. I was very angry. That Christmas was the hardest ever. She came into the house in a wheelchair.
‘One thing mam did for us every Christmas was buy us all a selection box. She wanted to give them to us because we were her kids. Mam was taking them out of a bag and she just broke down because she couldn’t even take them out. It absolutely broke my heart.’ Keating’s mother died on February 2. He was in bed with his future wife Yvonne when the call came. ‘A woman in the hospital said, “Ronan, your mam’s taken a bad turn. Come as quickly as you can.” ‘On the way there I remembered a dream I’d had the night before. Linda and I were sitting next to mam, and mam was wearing this gold cloak. She said, “It’s OK. I’m happy now.” Remembering it in the car freaked me out.
‘I remember running down the corridor and as I got to the door of my mam’s room the nurse was coming out. She closed the door and put her hands out to grab my hands and said, “Ronan, your mother passed away 12 minutes ago.” I couldn’t believe it. I was just numb.’
When Keating opened the door he found his brother Ciaran and sister Linda either side of the bed crying. ‘She was gone,’ he says. ‘I hugged her and gave her a kiss and cried for hours. Then dad arrived. I’ll never forget his face when he walked into the room.’ Keating tried to ease his grief with drink and then work. But two months later he broke down. ‘I bottled up a lot of my emotions,’ he says. ‘In an interview in London with the band when someone asked me about my mother and I just broke down crying. I walked out, jumped on a plane and went away with Yvonne.’
They flew to Nevis in the Caribbean and married on a beach. ‘We had been walking and I asked her to marry me. She said, “Yes.” She looked so cute. I made some calls and found somebody on the island to marry us. My brother Gary came down from New York. It was the most magical experience.‘I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a thousand times, my wife is everything to me. She’s my rock, the love of my life. I’m very lucky.’
Keating and Yvonne had their marriage blessed in a church ceremony in Ireland a year later with 30 of their friends and family. His father did not attend.‘We weren’t speaking. It wasn’t until Jack was born the following March that we made it up,’ he says. ‘I just started to understand there’s an incredible bond between a father and son. I wanted my dad to see my son. I thought, “It’s a decision I have to make for Jack. I have to rekindle this relationship for my son.” ‘It was pretty special for me when he saw Jack, and special for him, too. It’s funny but even today my dad and I don’t talk like I would talk to my son. I tell Jack every ten minutes I love him, but with my dad it’s different. When I was younger our relationship was about sport. I was a great footballer. That’s how we bonded. When music took over we drifted apart. Now I’ve bought him a beautiful fourbedroom house. We understand each other more. We talk. He tells me which football team won and who’s died in the local area. We converse through sport.’
Boyzone split shortly after Jack’s birth in March 1999. Initially it was intended as a temporary break, but Keating’s solo career took off, particularly following the massive success of When You Say Nothing At All, part of the soundtrack to Notting Hill. A hit album followed. ‘It was a mutual decision for Boyzone to have a break,’ he says. ‘Everyone was off doing their own thing. The bickering started a year-and-a-half later when the guys wanted to get the band back together. ‘I wasn’t ready to go back. It wasn’t the right time. Things were said about me then and I was very angry with the rest of the guys. We all just drifted apart. Everyone’s kind of cool again. We can talk but there’s no reunion. I think Take That have caused nothing but grief for me because everyone asks me if Boyzone are getting back together. I know you should never say never, but it’s not going to happen.’
Instead, Keating wants to try his luck in the US next January. If necessary, he’ll put his children in school there. ‘We got married to be together,’ he says. ‘I don’t want to miss my children growing up, and I don’t want to be apart from my wife. It would break my heart. My greatest ambition is to be a good father and a good husband, and to have longevity in my career. I know I’ll never be a Robbie Williams or a Justin Timberlake, but to stay on a constant would be great.’ He says this with an easy smile. Yes, Keating is extremely nice. I, for one, hope he’ll be around for a very long time.
HOW I LOST MY WAY
For years he carefully nurtured a ‘nice boy’ myth – until now. In his frankest ever interview, Ronan Keating comes clean to Rebecca Hardy about taking drugs, lying about his sex life, evicting his father… and what finally got him back on course
OK, let’s clear a few things up. Ronan Keating wasn’t a virgin when he married. He has one-night stands. And, yes, he’s even experimented with drugs. Keating, a committed Catholic and former Boyzone singer, has laboured under the tag ‘nicest man in pop’ for more than a decade now. When he was 16 years old a reporter asked him if he was a virgin. He should have told the reporter to mind his own business – instead he said, ‘Yes’. The newspapers had his number, or thought they did: Ronan Keating, the nice, polite, Catholic virgin from Dublin. And so he remained until he married his wife Yvonne eight years ago. Keating, actually, is very nice. He’s polite, too. But the rest is, well… to quote Keating, ‘Bull****’.
‘I made a massive mistake – by saying I was a virgin at 16,’ says Keating. ‘Well, I was – and I hope all kids are at 16. But when I was on the road there were lots of girls around and I lost my virginity early on. ‘I didn’t want to say I had because I didn’t want them [the newspapers] to say, “Oh, Ronan’s finally lost his virginity. Let’s find the girl.” So I kept the story going. Then there was all this stuff about me waiting until I’m married. That was bull****.’
Before Keating decided to pursue a solo career in 1999, Boyzone had 16 top five UK singles and sold more than 15 million albums worldwide. Keating and his bandmates – Keith Duffy, Shane Lynch, Mikey Graham and Stephen Gately – were mega-big, mega-hot, mega-news. ‘We made it up as we went along,’ says Keating. ‘It was rock ’n’ roll. We weren’t throwing TVs out of windows but we’d be up all hours drinking every night. Next morning we’d get on the plane drunk.
‘It was full on. There were parties thrown for us after every gig, money thrown at us – all sorts. A lot of the time I was dating and there would be girls throwing themselves at me. I’d say, “No, no, no. I can’t.” And then there was the first time I had a onenight stand. I left my girlfriend the next day. I called her and said, “I can’t be with you any more.” I went through this brilliant stage of being with a different girl every other night. Then I met Yvonne and everything changed.’
Keating worships his wife. He says she’s his ‘rock’, that he’d be lost without her. From the day they got together he hasn’t been near another woman. Keating is 29 years old. He has three children – Jack, seven, Marie, five, and nine-monthold Ali. They have a home in the Dublin suburbs. He says he likes to walk the dog on the beach, go to the cinema, watch The West Wing with his wife and a bottle of red wine; ‘normal things’.
It seems to suit him. Keating is less buttoned up, more forthcoming these days. He remains wary, though, of confessing too much – particularly when I ask if drugs figured during his days with Boyzone. ‘I think people would be shocked if they heard Ronan Keating took drugs,’ he says. ‘I was a bit naïve towards them. I was afraid that I’d be the unlucky one. Between you and me, I’ve tried it [dope]. We went to Holland and, as everyone does, we tried it. I have to say it wasn’t for me. I didn’t enjoy it.’ After some deliberation, Keating allows this conversation to remain on the record, adding, ‘On my mother’s grave, I’ve never taken any hard drugs.’ I believe him. Keating adored his mother, Marie, and would never take her name in vain. When she died of cancer eight years ago, he fell to pieces. ‘I was drunk all day,’ he says. ‘I looked for answers and couldn’t find them. What I Ronan Keating with his wife, Yvonne realised was you don’t
ever get over it, you learn to deal with it. It’s still very hard.
Every time I hold my children I just wish mam was with me. I feel she’s around and looking after me – I speak to her every day – but I want her to be here. I don’t think it’s fair and I’m still angry about it.’
I meet Keating at The Belfry in Warwickshire where, after lunch, he’s playing golf with Freddie Flintoff. Keating is addicted to golf; gambling, too, but somehow he always manages to hold himself in check. He’s driven, competitive, but a softie at heart. His latest album is Bring You Home. He believes it’s the best record he’s ever made, saying he ‘tripped up’ on the last album, Turn It On, which only made number 21 in the UK charts. ‘I thought I could sing any song and people would believe in it – and they didn’t,’ he says. ‘Now I feel I’m back where I’m myself. This is an album of ballads, of love songs. It’s positive, optimistic. I don’t need to do or say things to place me in a position where I look a bit cooler. I wanted to be Jon Bon Jovi and Bono. But I’m not that cool. I don’t need to be. I’m not a rock star. I am who I am.’
In fact, Keating does look pretty cool in fashionably tattered jeans and a frayed shirt. He says he’s always liked clothes, and wonders if it’s something to do with dressing in hand-me- downs for much of his childhood. Keating was the youngest of five children born to truck driver Gerry and wife Marie. He was close to his mother, but had an awkward relationship with his father, a tough, hard- drinking man.
Following his mother’s death, father and son had a furious row. Keating, who’d bought the family home at 18, sold it from beneath his father’s feet. ‘I made mistakes I shouldn’t have made,’ says Keating. ‘Stuff happened that I don’t really want to go on about because it’s just between dad and me. As I’ve got older I understand a little more about life. But at the time I was angry. I said things I shouldn’t have said. ‘I messed up. Dad had nowhere to go, and the house was an anchor for all my brothers and sisters. And it was gone. It was a f***ing big mistake. My dad and I didn’t speak for two years.’
This is the first time Keating has spoken with such astonishing candour about his life. He was, he says, consumed by a passion for music from an early age. His siblings, Ciaran, Linda, Gerard and Gary, had emigrated to the US by the time he was 13. Music helped to fill the empty house.
‘I remember at Christmas there was only mam, dad and me sitting around the table and mam was bawling her eyes out,’ he says. ‘I just didn’t want to be there. It was so depressing and so hard for mam. I just ate my dinner as quick as I could and got out. Our house had always been full of energy. When everyone left it was incredibly quiet, incredibly lonely. I fell in love with all of the record collections they left behind: Cat Stevens, Squeeze, Queen, Elton John. I’d just go to my room and listen to records. I loved to sing, loved the movement, love the noise. It blew my mind.’ Keating was working in a shoe-shop when X Factor judge Louis Walsh held auditions in Dublin for a boy band. He ‘couldn’t believe it’ when he was picked. ‘Louis and I liked the same music and wanted the same thing out of Boyzone. I wanted to travel. I wanted hit records. I wanted success. I wanted respect – but not credibility – that’s one thing Boyzone never looked for.
‘The boys and I were all very close. There were never any bust-ups in Boyzone, never any fights. We understood we were thrown together and didn’t know each other. Being Irish we sat in the bar all night drinking and chatting, telling each other about our lives.‘We knew Stephen [Gately] was gay – his boyfriend was around for most of the time. But he was afraid that if it came out it would hurt the band. Then, after three years, a newspaper found out and he was put under pressure to come out. It was a hard time for Stephen. I remember him sitting down with his mum and dad to tell them. We were there with him. His parents were brilliant – everyone was. This was the first real big story of a member of a boy band coming out.
‘I was 19 and having a fantastic time. The records were selling; we were travelling the world. Then mam got diagnosed with cancer and everything changed.’
Keating was on his way to Dublin airport when his brother Ciaran phoned to say his mother had discovered a lump in her breast. ‘I just wanted to get on that plane and get as far away from Dublin as possible,’ he says. ‘I didn’t want to hear it. A week later it was confirmed the lump was malignant.‘I remember walking in the door and she was crying,’ says Keating. ‘I gave her a big hug. It was awful. And then she went through all the usual rubbish – got the breast removed, went through chemotherapy, lost her hair. It was very hard for me to see her sick. I’d never stay long in the hospital. As soon as I was in I was gone.’
Eighteen months later his mother was given the all-clear. ‘It was fantastic,’ he says. ‘Everyone was overjoyed. Relief is the wrong word. It was just a joyous feeling. That was in September but then she started having back pains. In late November we found out that the cancer had moved on to the spine. I prayed every day. I just trusted in Him that everything would be OK because mam was such a believer. ‘I remember in December we were all called into the hospital. The doctor said, “It doesn’t look good.” I just couldn’t figure this out. I was very angry. That Christmas was the hardest ever. She came into the house in a wheelchair.
‘One thing mam did for us every Christmas was buy us all a selection box. She wanted to give them to us because we were her kids. Mam was taking them out of a bag and she just broke down because she couldn’t even take them out. It absolutely broke my heart.’ Keating’s mother died on February 2. He was in bed with his future wife Yvonne when the call came. ‘A woman in the hospital said, “Ronan, your mam’s taken a bad turn. Come as quickly as you can.” ‘On the way there I remembered a dream I’d had the night before. Linda and I were sitting next to mam, and mam was wearing this gold cloak. She said, “It’s OK. I’m happy now.” Remembering it in the car freaked me out.
‘I remember running down the corridor and as I got to the door of my mam’s room the nurse was coming out. She closed the door and put her hands out to grab my hands and said, “Ronan, your mother passed away 12 minutes ago.” I couldn’t believe it. I was just numb.’
When Keating opened the door he found his brother Ciaran and sister Linda either side of the bed crying. ‘She was gone,’ he says. ‘I hugged her and gave her a kiss and cried for hours. Then dad arrived. I’ll never forget his face when he walked into the room.’ Keating tried to ease his grief with drink and then work. But two months later he broke down. ‘I bottled up a lot of my emotions,’ he says. ‘In an interview in London with the band when someone asked me about my mother and I just broke down crying. I walked out, jumped on a plane and went away with Yvonne.’
They flew to Nevis in the Caribbean and married on a beach. ‘We had been walking and I asked her to marry me. She said, “Yes.” She looked so cute. I made some calls and found somebody on the island to marry us. My brother Gary came down from New York. It was the most magical experience.‘I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a thousand times, my wife is everything to me. She’s my rock, the love of my life. I’m very lucky.’
Keating and Yvonne had their marriage blessed in a church ceremony in Ireland a year later with 30 of their friends and family. His father did not attend.‘We weren’t speaking. It wasn’t until Jack was born the following March that we made it up,’ he says. ‘I just started to understand there’s an incredible bond between a father and son. I wanted my dad to see my son. I thought, “It’s a decision I have to make for Jack. I have to rekindle this relationship for my son.” ‘It was pretty special for me when he saw Jack, and special for him, too. It’s funny but even today my dad and I don’t talk like I would talk to my son. I tell Jack every ten minutes I love him, but with my dad it’s different. When I was younger our relationship was about sport. I was a great footballer. That’s how we bonded. When music took over we drifted apart. Now I’ve bought him a beautiful fourbedroom house. We understand each other more. We talk. He tells me which football team won and who’s died in the local area. We converse through sport.’
Boyzone split shortly after Jack’s birth in March 1999. Initially it was intended as a temporary break, but Keating’s solo career took off, particularly following the massive success of When You Say Nothing At All, part of the soundtrack to Notting Hill. A hit album followed. ‘It was a mutual decision for Boyzone to have a break,’ he says. ‘Everyone was off doing their own thing. The bickering started a year-and-a-half later when the guys wanted to get the band back together. ‘I wasn’t ready to go back. It wasn’t the right time. Things were said about me then and I was very angry with the rest of the guys. We all just drifted apart. Everyone’s kind of cool again. We can talk but there’s no reunion. I think Take That have caused nothing but grief for me because everyone asks me if Boyzone are getting back together. I know you should never say never, but it’s not going to happen.’
Instead, Keating wants to try his luck in the US next January. If necessary, he’ll put his children in school there. ‘We got married to be together,’ he says. ‘I don’t want to miss my children growing up, and I don’t want to be apart from my wife. It would break my heart. My greatest ambition is to be a good father and a good husband, and to have longevity in my career. I know I’ll never be a Robbie Williams or a Justin Timberlake, but to stay on a constant would be great.’ He says this with an easy smile. Yes, Keating is extremely nice. I, for one, hope he’ll be around for a very long time.
